narrative

for our work we had to write a story about the worlds problems, this was mine:

He woke up. For his people, sleep was not needed but it refreshed the body and relaxed the mind. His mother came into his room, she had been alerted by the alarm “good morning male offspring, I came to remove you from this place in which you choose to sleep” he got out of bed and he was naked as the humans called it, it meant that you had no garments of any sort to cover up what the humans found to be embarrassing. They didn’t wear the “clothes” that humans wore either, they had figured out some time ago that they were much more casual in a way that humans would find disgusting most likely. 

His mother left the room and he got out of his bed and went downstairs to feed, another unnecessary but pleasurable sensation that they had discovered from the humans, he did not like it here on mars but the colonie leaders had chosen his district of life forms to be sent to mars and study Earth. Back at the colonie names were irrelevant and you were called “boy, girl, son, daughter, offspring or child” you could only have two offspring but as they studied the alien planet they discovered that there were no laws restricting any such things. 

He ate his food and then went to do his work. He had worked hard by the end of the day but he had eaten his disco biscuit, a medication made to stop your muscles getting sore.

The sun was setting and they were having their late day meals as they saw a human ship flying over the atmosphere, it was huge, at least the size of a four story human building. "They aren't supposed to launch for another 3 months" Mother exclaimed. They saw the heat surrounding the ship as the metal turned red hot and there was a loud boom as the ship finally entered the atmosphere and started rocketing towards the land. His mother, sister and father put on their armoured suits and grabbed their rifles just as the parachutes burst out of the ship and it floated down, but the atmosphere on Mars was different than it was on Earth so as it went down the ship began to spin around and around, the parachutes slowed it down enough to stop the ship exploding on impact though. It landed near the research base and there was a painful sounding crunch as the ship touched down and the bottom quarter of the ship crumpled and compressed surely killing all the inhabitants of the bottom level.

They opened the oxygen hatch in their base and ran into the airlock, did all the safety procedures, and left out towards the wreck, hopping at excellent heights getting closer and closer, until… the humans let fire as we crossed over a ridge, their weapons from Earth were puny compared to the colonies advanced rifles that were made for planetary combat. The bullets soared right over their head because the humans had practised with guns that felt heavy, and now that they were weightless the gun were aimed up at an awkward angle. They fired their own rifles with heavily trained precision and decapitated the soldiers firing, completely disintegrating the heads and cauterising the stumps they had for necks. They jumped through the hole the humans had made to shoot out and looked at the ladder that lead to the 3rd floor, nothing happened so the started talking “why do you think they shot at us?” mother said, we waited for about a minute then father replied “it is likely the fact that we are holding rifles ourselves”. 

They went up to the 3rd floor silently and found that the only reason the guards survived was that they were strapped into their seats, it was a bloodbath, as they walked around the thick red liquid began trickling down the ladder from where they came. There were bodies everywhere and they all looked like they had been in a blender for five minutes. There were folded over seats like wet towels on a clothesline, there were skulls smashed open from hitting the walls too hard, there were limbs bent at unimaginable angles beginning to turn grey and green from gangrene. They checked the other levels and found them all the same. On the 5th floor they saw a control panel and on it the words were blazing: HOSTILE ALIEN LIFE FORMS. On a loud speaker they heard a human voice yelling that the earth was dead and asking is anyone survived, they wondered why it said that so they started back to the base to talk about it, but on the way back they heard a loud crack behind them, they turned and saw another ship entering the atmosphere, this one had seen the fight and the guns were firing already…

What do you think of my story?